Thursday, July 20, 2006 @5:50 pm
Let me tell you of the first time I taste His true sweetness. God's true sweetness.
It's amazing. It's something I've learnt to identify especially in the area of work. Relationships. And so many more. Declaration and claiming is so important. To be happy and live with a grateful and simple heart is even more important. Meaning, just love Jesus.
No it's not easy to do. in the recent months, my family has been thru ups and downs. until now, but every time i pray i see a result. It's amazing. It's NOT easy to go thru or to handle it. Especially when I'd just started working. Thank God i've a great spiritual brother whom I can chat with everyday abt my life. and my family. and everything. whilst i get mad with my sister sometimes, of course i still love her loads. in fact, i really thank God for her. sometimes when my parents get over sensitive and think that i'm trying to strike out on my own and accuse me of not needing them anymore and treat me like shit (when they get insensitive).. my sister allows me to feel accepted.. thanks darling.
but i thank God for my parents too. i love them loads. we all have to learn together. they, hate admitting they're wrong. they start to say i'm in denial, bluffing myself and them just to get out of a situation. well sometimes and in some point of time thru my years, i prolly did it. But many a times when i'm TRULY innocent, they refuse to admit they misinterpreted my actions....etc. wont go into details.. and they're growing older. and i'm growing up. i'm working now, and am financially independent. SO a lot of strings have to be let looser. They dunno how to do the restraint and letting go thing well all of a sudden. because again, it's a new phase in OUR lives. first time their daughter is financially independent and grown up, first time i'm experiencing something like that in life - working la.
not that it's any big deal.. okay it is la. the change in lifestyle and all. like this bro said, they dunno how to handle. it's new. and i acknowledge them. as much as i hate blaming them tho, it's very tiring to have to play according to what they want, and yet still accomplish what i myself wanna do. But well. it all boils down to their love for me. So maybe, pastor should ask them to go for encounter or counselling sessions again. heh. i love them still la. no matter what... no one in this world can take the place of my family. no i didnt say no one in the world and heaven.
It's amazing to learn the art of praising, the art of letting go of myself, the art of putting God first in my life. and in everything, give thanks. something i'd forced myself to learn, and finally understand. It's amazing too, the Jabez prayer. hahaha. really. God blesses with abundance. I feel so blessed. esp at work. things are going well. i'm learning more. getting the hang of things. And suddenly deals i didnt have to ask for, start appearing out of no where and definitely of no loss to me or my company. isnt that fantastic? in real life i guess it makes me seem good. but i know and you know now, that it's really God at work, His favour being upon me, isnt it? Amazing. I'm really really... in awe. for the first time.. I say it and i really mean it. with all the gratitude in my heart. Thank you God.
Lastly. I thank God for the spiritual family i have. relationship with them is just growing stronger. It's amazing.. because i've been yearning for that to happen in years. and it has la. God's doing something and showing me that i didnt choose wrongly... they're my source of comfort when i'm in trouble. thank God.. and to Gerri, i pray that everything goes well.. i know how you're feeling, i've been thru it too when it happened with my family. =) S8 is here to be your physical pillar of support other than your family. love ya..